C’est Mon Choix

As a result of a number of contributing factors, teen pregnancy is a significant issue here in Togo.  Many young people feel pressure from peers to engage in sexual activity, rumors run rampant about the dynamics of sex and love, girls get bribed into having sex for gifts, teens often receive no education about their developing bodies, and there is little awareness about contraceptive options available.  

Partly for these reasons, as part of my rounds talking about family planning, I of course found myself talking to students about not having children until they have finished their studies and were ready to support a family.  I found that talking to students is a bit different than talking to adults.  With such a mix of ages and maturity levels, getting students to participate can be a challenge and talking of sex can set the group into nervous giggles.

This time around I was with a team of Red Cross workers.  We began by explaining why waiting to have children is important for them as students, followed by a brief discussion about using contraception if they do choose to have sex.  At this point the school director who had been lurking in the doorway cut in. He spoke of abstinence and that it was the only method of family planning the students were to use.  Later when we were saying our thanks and goodbyes in his office, the director brought up once again—to the Red Cross director of their HIV/AIDS program—that he should not be talking condom use with students, only abstinence.  He “knew his students, and if you open the door just a little there will be a flood of sexual activity.”

The school director is not alone in his thinking about teaching “abstinence-only” to students.  In the U.S. there have been a number of pushes to implement this type of sex-ed in public schools; even withdrawing funding from school who choose to teach about condom use and other contraception.  Distributed by PSI, the slogan “L’Abstinence, C’est Mon Choix” (Abstinence, That’s My Choice) can be found on billboards and T-shirts all over Togo.  And these believers in abstinence are right, the only surefire way of avoiding teen pregnancy and the spread of STIs is by having teens abstain from sexual activity, but abstinence-only is also misguided in its belief that talking about sex and contraception will cause teens to start having sex.

I for one—someone who started getting a sex-ed, including contraction, in middle school—can attest that, upon hearing that things such as condoms could keep me from getting pregnant or a nasty STI, I did not run off to have sex.  Assuming that contraceptives are the key towards teens starting their sex lives is very naive, and over-estimates the amount of thinking that goes into some teenagers’ sex lives.  Yes, we very much want to think that the number one concern of a newly sexually active young person is their health and babies, but in reality when that moment strikes, if they have never been educated to think about protecting themselves, they won’t.

The reality is that teenagers often mature sexually before they do mentally.  Unfortunately teenage sex is not a decision purely driven by a logical assessment of the possible consequences of their behavior, no matter how many times someone tells them, just say no.   There are of course many youth who do abstain from sexual activity, but it isn’t because they have never discussed sex or contraception.

Youth should be taught to value their bodies and wait to have sex until they are mature enough to evaluate the consequences, but a balance needs to be struck.  Even if we close our eyes and pretend it doesn’t exist or hope desperately that it will just go away, time has shown us that teen sex happens.  In Togo teen pregnancy is a large contributor to girls not finishing school and apprenticeships.  It is not because someone didn’t tell them not to have sex that they became pregnant, it is because they were never told to use contraception. We need to show these youths, who—besides our pressure for abstinence—still choose to have sex, how to protect themselves and avoid having to suffer from the very real consequences of unprotected sex.