Last night my sixteen year old sister gave birth to a baby boy. While I had noticed that she was pregnant we had never discussed it. In the middle of the night I was awoken by the screams of labor and the arrival of the midwife and some female family members. I was not included in the birth itself, but was handed the baby in the morning.
My sister does not have a man in her life, and is/was an apprentice with a tailor. Having a baby means she will have to pay a fine to her master and potentially lose her apprenticeship. Her father also just came to speak to me because he does not know who the father of the baby is and my sister will not say who it is. As surprising as it might be, he was actually coming to me for advice. He explained to me how without knowing the father there is no means of supporting a new baby and with a baby Mary cannot continue to work making two mouths to feed for my father, not just one. All I could tell him was to talk to her explain what he has to me. Be honest and open and hopefully she will see the importance of sharing who the father is.
Unfortunately my sister is not unique in her situation. There are many young girls who become pregnant while in school or an apprenticeship, and after becoming pregnant can no longer work or continue school. They become dependent on there families or if they are lucky the man who got them pregnant will marry them.
Beyond not being aware of contraceptives women here are regarded sadly as very cheap. Men convince young girls to have sex with them by offering gifts like cell phones and tragically the girls think that that’s all they are worth. These practices have also been institutionalized at schools where young women can struggle to get an education, not only combating economic pressure and the stresses of school that affect everyone but also the pressure to have sexual relationships with their teachers.
Coming from the US it is obscene to think of a teacher having sex with his young students. A teacher is supposed to be someone who a student can trust to guide them in their decisions, and encourage a student’s success. In Togo, however, it is common for teachers to solicit sex from their students. Whether by offering a good grade, or threatening failure, teachers enter into sexual relationships that are extremely damaging to a young girl’s success in school. This contributes to distractions that lead to poorer performance in school and to drop out rates.
Scarily though, there is no understanding that these types of behaviors hurt these young girls. The men who participate are no inherently bad people, but it is seen as a man’s right to have a woman. It is a cultural issue that cannot be solved simply by encouraging women to stay in school or use contraceptives, but the mentality of the worth and role of women must be changed and demonstrate the ways that a man’s behavior negatively impacts women and consequently many other aspects of society.
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